Glossary entry (derived from question below)
Urdu term or phrase:
طائر حق
English translation:
bird/angel of truth
Added to glossary by
Qudsia Lone
Jul 16, 2007 17:58
16 yrs ago
Urdu term
United States
Native Ability in Urdu and English
Native in: Urdu
Works in: Urdu to English, English to Urdu
طائر حق
Urdu to English
Art/Literary
Poetry & Literature
There is a "zair" under the 'ray', so it is read as "taa-ir-E-Haq"
I know the literal translation, but I would like an appropriate 'poetic translation' that would fit the verse:
دیکھو اک شاطر دشمن نے کیسا ظالم کام کیا
پھینکا مکر کا جال اور طائر حق زیر الزام کیا
(There is a 'zair' under the 'ray' of زیر الزام as well, so it is pronounced 'zair-e-ilzam')
Someone wants to SING the translation of the poem, so the translation has to be poetic as well.
I would appreciate any good suggestions.
This the rough translation of the remaining verse which I have (please feel free to make suggestions...the main difficulty with this translation is to make it poetic enough for someone to sing it) :
"O look what a cruel trick played the cunning enemy
Threw a web of deception to trap ---------------------"
I know the literal translation, but I would like an appropriate 'poetic translation' that would fit the verse:
دیکھو اک شاطر دشمن نے کیسا ظالم کام کیا
پھینکا مکر کا جال اور طائر حق زیر الزام کیا
(There is a 'zair' under the 'ray' of زیر الزام as well, so it is pronounced 'zair-e-ilzam')
Someone wants to SING the translation of the poem, so the translation has to be poetic as well.
I would appreciate any good suggestions.
This the rough translation of the remaining verse which I have (please feel free to make suggestions...the main difficulty with this translation is to make it poetic enough for someone to sing it) :
"O look what a cruel trick played the cunning enemy
Threw a web of deception to trap ---------------------"
Proposed translations
(English)
| 5 | angel |
chaman4723
|
| 5 +1 | 'Bird of Truth' |
abufaraz
|
| 5 | Divine Flyer/True Believer |
Aadil Zargam
|
Proposed translations
11 hrs
chaman4723
India
India
Native in Urdu
&
English
India
20+ yrs of translating/ editing/proofing
Native in: English 
, Urdu
Works in: English to Urdu, English to Hindi, Hindi to English, and 4 more.
Related KudoZ points
:
7
Selected
angel
Angel has connotation of being a flier/bird and also of divinity
whose essential attribute is truth. It is also poetic. Moreover consider foe instead of enemy. Makr also is appropriately translated as cunning. Consider my opinion and notify me of your opinion.
whose essential attribute is truth. It is also poetic. Moreover consider foe instead of enemy. Makr also is appropriately translated as cunning. Consider my opinion and notify me of your opinion.
Example sentence:
Most of the times angels too are trapped by cunning foes.
3 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thank you for your response. I have used your answer with an addition. I agree it is more poetic, and since 'tair-e-quds' refers to angel Gabriel, I feel I won't be streching the translation too far from the source text by using this term.
I had already used 'cunning' for 'makr.'
I can't use 'foe' due to rhyming conflict...I'm using 'enemy' to rhyme with 'honesty'. Thank you for your suggestion though,' foe' would have been more poetic if I could use it."
+1
19 mins
'Bird of Truth'
In order to maintain a connection with the words 'threw a web' and 'trap' we ought to use the word 'bird', although it might not fit into the criteria of being very 'poetic' .
Moreover, I feel that, in the second 'Misrah' of this she'r, the correct word should be 'زیرِ دام' ('Zair-e-Daam') - 'Daam' meaning 'جال' (Trap) instead of 'زیرِ الزام' (Zair-e-ilzaam') - because 'Ilzaam' means 'allegation' which does not fit in the she'r.
Please correct me if I am wrong.
Regards,
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Note added at 2 hrs (2007-07-16 20:10:24 GMT)
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'Messenger of Truth' appears to be more appropriate IMO.
Note from asker:
| I think the poet has played with the term 'zair-e-daam'. By saying 'zair-e-ilzam', he has specified exactly what kind of 'daam' was thrown to trap this bird. I'm still looking for a better term for 'bird'. It is an accurate translation to go with the urdu terms, but like you said, not poetic enough. I'm considering 'bearer of truth' or 'messenger of truth', since birds have been used to carry/relay messages. I'm still open to suggestions. Thank you for your suggestion, though, it has forced me to think of related options I hadn't thought of before. |
2 hrs
Aadil Zargam
India
India
Works in field
India
Fast, Accurate & High Quality Translator
Native in: Arabic 
Works in: English to Arabic, English to Urdu, English to Hindi, and 11 more.
Divine Flyer/True Believer
دیکھو اک شاطر دشمن نے کیسا ظالم کام کیا
پھینکا مکر کا جال اور طائر حق زیر الزام کیا
See! What a cruel job done by a cunning enemy!
Trawlling deception he seduced the flyer of the divinity.
پھینکا مکر کا جال اور طائر حق زیر الزام کیا
See! What a cruel job done by a cunning enemy!
Trawlling deception he seduced the flyer of the divinity.
Note from asker:
| Thank you for your response. I need a closer match to the word 'truth' though. But I liked your version of translation for the first verse, so I used that with a little alteration. |
Discussion
"See! What a cruel job did a cunning enemy
Weaved a web of deceit to trap angel of honesty"
I went for 'weaved a web' instead of 'threw/cast a web/net' since this concept is more familiar to the English speaking audience.