Glossary entry (derived from question below)
English term or phrase:
ٌRemove dark spots and even skin tone
Arabic translation:
يزيل البقع السوداء ويوحد لون البشرة
Added to glossary by
Marwa Seleem
Jun 23, 2020 16:42
3 yrs ago
37 viewers *
English term
ٌRemove dark spots and even skin tone
English to Arabic
Medical
Cosmetics, Beauty
General
Instructions for the use of a beauty cream.
There's a picture of a young lady, applying the cream.
One half of her face has uneven tones. The half she is
applying the beauty product has even tone.
The focus is on the imperative verb "even".
I'll appreciate your suggestions.
There's a picture of a young lady, applying the cream.
One half of her face has uneven tones. The half she is
applying the beauty product has even tone.
The focus is on the imperative verb "even".
I'll appreciate your suggestions.
Proposed translations
(Arabic)
4 +7 | يزيل البقع السوداء ويوحد لون البشرة | Marwa Seleem |
5 +1 | لإزالة البقع الداكنة ومعادلة لون البشرة | Fuad Yahya |
Change log
Jul 7, 2020 13:30: Marwa Seleem Created KOG entry
Proposed translations
+7
2 mins
Selected
يزيل البقع السوداء ويوحد لون البشرة
even here make it all the same tone
Peer comment(s):
agree |
Yosra Montasser
2 mins
|
Thank you, Yosra!
|
|
agree |
Fathy Shehatto
2 mins
|
Thank you, Mr Fathy!
|
|
agree |
Ahmed Gad El Rab
7 mins
|
Thank you, really appreciate your support!
|
|
agree |
Youssef Chabat
: الداكنة بدل السوداء
7 mins
|
Thank you for your valuable addition, but most products use this term as in the middle east we already have relatively dark skin!
|
|
agree |
mona elshazly
: اعتقد البقع الداكنة أفضل.
31 mins
|
Thank you for your valuable addition, but most products use this term as in the middle east we already have relatively dark skin!
|
|
agree |
hoda ismail
16 hrs
|
Thank you!
|
|
agree |
Dalia Nour
: الداكنة أفضل من السوداء
1 day 23 mins
|
Thank you Dalia! seems like it's the most agreed and better to go with!
|
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Selected automatically based on peer agreement."
+1
3 hrs
English term (edited):
remove dark spots and even skin tone
لإزالة البقع الداكنة ومعادلة لون البشرة
To begin with, I want to address your specific query about the use of the imperative form in this sentence. I understand that you want to be faithful to the source text. Since the source text uses the imperative form, you want to do the same, but you are having some difficulty with that.
That is an excellent question. The way I see it, you don't really have to use the imperative form at all. In fact, I would suggest that you don't.
Your description of the layout is very helpful. I can almost see the picture. You characterized it as "instructions." There may be instructions on this page, but this particular sentence does not appear to be an instruction. The instructions would be what the user is expected to do when using the cream. The removal of the dark spots and the evening of the skin tone is not what the user does. It is what the cream does. It is the outcome of using the cream. This may be a title for the page and a way to introduce the instructions. It highlights what can be accomplished if the instructions are followed. In that sense, it serves as an indirect promotional statement for the product.
One wonders, why did they choose the imperative form for this particular sentence, considering that it is not, strictly speaking, an instruction? The answer is that this way of writing is part of copy writing dogma. Copywriters are taught to use what they call "strong sentences," which often means sentences that begin with direct verbs with no inflections. So instead of saying, "Removes dark spots," or "For removing dark spots," or "To remove dark spots" (which is what an uninitiated copywriter would write), they wrote, "Remove dark spots." They learn to do this in communications schools (my daughter has a degree in communications). This is so much part of the common copy writing practice in the English-speaking world that if they wrote it any other way, the editor would change it.
It just happens that we do not follow this practice in Arabic. Just because the English text uses the imperative form, the translator should not feel obliged to use the same form. What works in one language may not work equally well in another language. It would be perfectly OK to use a different form, like:
لإزالة البقع الداكنة ومعادلة لون البشرة
I am sure you grasp the meaning of the verb "to even" here. It is to make the skin tone closer to its natural appearance when the person was young(er), i.e., free of dark spots (like the ones I have) and other discolorations and blemishes. The skin is not supposed to be perfectly the same all over, like a plastic doll -- just evened out, or متعادلة.
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Note added at 11 days (2020-07-05 06:13:14 GMT)
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The asker selected this answer was selected by mistake. I have asked both administrators to deselect this answer and make it possible for the answer of Marwa Seleem to receive the selection and the awarded points. I hope they succeed in correcting this error. If not, I ask perusers of this page to disregard the selection of this answer and to recognize the answer of Marwa Seleem as the correct answer.
Note from asker:
Hi Fuad, Thank you for your extensive and informatively rich answer. I am glad you are back at Proz.com after a long absence. Your presence here will enrich the linguistic discussion. On further research I found out that "even" in this case is translated into "توحيد" in Arabic advertising materials. |
Discussion
By the way, I didn't mean to make a big buzz with my first comment😅
I just saw my name with Thank you and don't know where to respond except here 😅😀
My answer was not meant to compete with yours, Marwa. My answer addressed a completely different issue, the issue of the use of the imperative verb, which is the issue that Sami identified as the reason for posting the question in the first place, and it is also the issue that no one wanted to address. To me, that was the crux of the question.
You provided a translation of the full phrase, while I didn't intend to because, knowing Sami, I didn't think he needed help with that. As far as I understood, he only needed help in dealing with the imperative form of the verb "even". I threw in a translation of the full phrase only to illustrate how my solution would work and to fill the answer form as required, but it wasn't meant to compete with your translation. In fact, it is almost identical to yours. The difference is minute. Sami researched it and selected your version based on wide spread usage. We could debate which one is better, but it is indisputable that yours is the most commonly used.
Sami aimed to select your answer. He should have his wish, and you should have your earned points.
I hope Fuad won't mind in making the correction.
Mr. Fouad provided detailed answer with informative explanation!
I was meant to select your answer as "Most helpful", but the answer and grading and grading went, by mistake, to our colleague Fuad. I am trying to correct the mistake.