| Stran v tématu: < [1 2 3 4] > | What's the most useless thing you've ever translated? Autor vlákna: Claire Titchmarsh (X)
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heikeb 
Člen (2003)
angličtina -> němčina
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| Translation of personal EU documents | Nov 28, 2006 |
It has happened several time that I was asked to translate an EU passport , driver's license or similar document into English as part of a bunch of personal documents.
The EU documents are usually issued in at least the language of the country of issuance plus English and French. Even after pointing this out to the clients, I was told to go ahead anyways, so I only had to copy the English into a new document...
| | | | lexical
Španělsko
Local time: 21:56
portugalština -> angličtina
For me, the most pointless thing was translating a long, soi-disant revelatory tome on the lost continent of Atlantis. I can't go into details because this was so hush-hush that I had to sign a confidentiality agreement, but was, according to the author, destined to break onto an astonished world (of non-readers and non-buyers of the book, in my view). It was nothing more than a farrago (when did I last get the chance to use that word?) of unsupported inferences.
| | | | Andrzej Lejman
Polsko
Local time: 21:56
Člen (2004)
němčina -> polština
+ ...
| US corporate e-learning stuff for employees of subsidiaries | Nov 28, 2006 |
in Poland. Different culture, different skills etc. but they still believe their corporate policy is applicable everywhere. I can imagine people in Poland ROTFL about the bombastic bla bla coming from America. Lacking imagination and sense of realism.
Projects of 70+ k words, nice rated, customer satisfied with the quality of translation, but a strange feeling - it was completely useless. I don't like this.
Best regards
Andrzej
| | | | Irene N
Spojené státy americké
Local time: 14:56
angličtina -> ruština
+ ...
| I beg to disagree | Nov 28, 2006 |
I find all 4 points very useful. Life has taught me so. I read fine prints, and I read cosmetic product leaflets - both make sure I save my skin:-).
Let me tell you a story, which is about 25 years old. In the 70s-early 80s the 1st 'large wave' of Soviet immigrants were settling in the U.S. The vast majority of them had very modest income in the USSR, plus we certainly have not been spoiled by a variety of small appliances. Back home most families had none at all and managed with ... See more I find all 4 points very useful. Life has taught me so. I read fine prints, and I read cosmetic product leaflets - both make sure I save my skin:-).
Let me tell you a story, which is about 25 years old. In the 70s-early 80s the 1st 'large wave' of Soviet immigrants were settling in the U.S. The vast majority of them had very modest income in the USSR, plus we certainly have not been spoiled by a variety of small appliances. Back home most families had none at all and managed with very basic cookware and cutlery, so many wives had no idea of microwaves or how to use them. More than 1 had tried to cook a raw egg in a shell:-) I'm sure they could use some instructions...
But let me also share some of my collection, all real:
For a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping!
For a can of nuts: Warning! Contains nuts!
For an iron: Do not iron clothes on yourself!
Cheers,
Irene ▲ Collapse
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Claire Titchmarsh (X)
Local time: 21:56
italština -> angličtina
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AUTOR TÉMATU | OK point taken | Nov 28, 2006 |
MarcPrior wrote:
When I was I child, assorted adults were fond of the phrase "If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing properly".
Not that I am suggesting, Claire, that you are not translating properly. But with all those impressionable newbiez out there...
Marc
But I never said that these things weren't translated properly, they very often are. Just that nobody, apart from other translators, reads them.
| | | | Claire Titchmarsh (X)
Local time: 21:56
italština -> angličtina
+ ...
AUTOR TÉMATU
Marie-Helene Hayles wrote:
- you really, really wanted a pouch to hold your mobile, purse and other essentials, incorporated into your top and designed to nestle into that convenient little space between your breasts, didn't you?
It certainly isn't mentioned in my letter to Father Christmas this year, no.
| | | | Riens Middelhof
Nizozemsko
Local time: 21:56
španělština -> nizozemština
+ ...
| Street addresses... | Nov 28, 2006 |
1500 lines of street addresses. Translating street addresses... I tried to point out that it makes no sense, but it had to be done.
So "Times Square" would become "Plaza Tiempos". I know "Times" refers to the newspaper, THEY did, but they didn´t care, it needed to be translated...
| | | | mediamatrix (X)
Local time: 15:56
španělština -> angličtina
+ ...
| Doubly useless - Doubly useful | Nov 28, 2006 |
In a previous life in a well-known international organization, I was required to translate contributions to technical working party meetings submitted by research staff from the francophone members.
It was often obvious to me that contributions were being written not for the purpose of enhancing the debate but simply because if the delegates didn't contribute 'something' then their bosses might start wondering why they were spending vast sums to send them to meetings in exotic far-a... See more In a previous life in a well-known international organization, I was required to translate contributions to technical working party meetings submitted by research staff from the francophone members.
It was often obvious to me that contributions were being written not for the purpose of enhancing the debate but simply because if the delegates didn't contribute 'something' then their bosses might start wondering why they were spending vast sums to send them to meetings in exotic far-away places (in the 1980s, the organization's favourite meeting venues seemed to center on the Aegean islands).
So it was that 10-thousand word vague going-round-in-circles off-topic 'research' reports were being submitted that had only ever been read (perhaps ...) by one person - the author him/herself - before landing on my desk in the source language.
And it was equally obvious that I was going to be the only person in the entire world who would actually take the time to read the translation from start from finish. And both versions would remain unread - and maybe not even be distributed to delegates - in the meeting, since there were also (fortunately) some excellent reports being submitted that would relegate the rubbish directly to the recycling box.
Were those translations useless? Well, yes and no. In terms of their value in the technical debate they were doubly useless - no-one read either the source or the target language version.
On the other hand they were doubly useful. The author got to see Greece (again). And I got paid at the end of the month.
MediaMatrix ▲ Collapse
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| Corporate internal newletters | Nov 28, 2006 |
Load of self-congratulatory tosh which, in my experience (in my former life as an employee), is rarely given much more than a cursory glance before being consigned to the mobile circular floor-level storage receptacle.
I realise that this entry as a "useless translation" pales into insignificance beside the 'translate these addresses' entry posted above, but I thought I'd mention it since, unlike the addresses, I fail utterly to see the point of this unmitigated drivel in the source... See more Load of self-congratulatory tosh which, in my experience (in my former life as an employee), is rarely given much more than a cursory glance before being consigned to the mobile circular floor-level storage receptacle.
I realise that this entry as a "useless translation" pales into insignificance beside the 'translate these addresses' entry posted above, but I thought I'd mention it since, unlike the addresses, I fail utterly to see the point of this unmitigated drivel in the source language either. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Buzzy
Local time: 21:56
francouzština -> angličtina
| The obscurer corners of notes to financial statements | Nov 28, 2006 |
Actually compared to a list of street names this doesn't sound so bad, at least these notes actually have a meaning... but it happens so often that I ask the client for help understanding some point or other on the nth page of the notes, and the person trying to help me tells me "apart from you and me, you know, I wonder if anyone actually reads this..." Judging by the mistakes that sometimes slip through (and only come to light when one of us is re-re-reading), I suspect not! But they can't be ... See more Actually compared to a list of street names this doesn't sound so bad, at least these notes actually have a meaning... but it happens so often that I ask the client for help understanding some point or other on the nth page of the notes, and the person trying to help me tells me "apart from you and me, you know, I wonder if anyone actually reads this..." Judging by the mistakes that sometimes slip through (and only come to light when one of us is re-re-reading), I suspect not! But they can't be too careful. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Vito Smolej
Německo
Local time: 21:56
Člen (2004)
angličtina -> slovinština
+ ...
SITE LOCALIZER | on totally useless translations | Nov 29, 2006 |
Are we not biting the hand that feeds us with this kind of questions? I may think the client is
a) stupid
b) got bad mouth breath
c) his/her text sux,
d) ... add your own highlight
but hey, I get paid to do the darn translation and not to have opions about it.
So what's so useless about it? We do the job - and I did my share of such jobs, believe me - and get paid for it. Everything else is an insult to the paying hand. Sometimes of ... See more Are we not biting the hand that feeds us with this kind of questions? I may think the client is
a) stupid
b) got bad mouth breath
c) his/her text sux,
d) ... add your own highlight
but hey, I get paid to do the darn translation and not to have opions about it.
So what's so useless about it? We do the job - and I did my share of such jobs, believe me - and get paid for it. Everything else is an insult to the paying hand. Sometimes of course it's simply ... obscene ... But it gets much better after the invoice has been issued. And - of course - paid. My experience at least.
Whoever feels underutilized, can start on some hard stuff like Finnegans Wake / Bible / Homer.
[Edited at 2006-11-29 00:43] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Heinrich Pesch
Finsko
Local time: 22:56
Člen (2003)
finština -> němčina
+ ...
| Patent application for a perpetuum mobile | Nov 29, 2006 |
device with complicated arrangement of magnets to generate "free energy".
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| Regarding pouches... | Nov 29, 2006 |
When I worked in a supermarket at the age of 16, I had the unfortunate problem of being paid in cash in the middle of the day on a Friday, with nowhere to put the money. I could not leave it in a bag in the staff room, due to the high risk of it being stolen. When I asked other female staff members what they did, they proudly showed me neat pockets sewn into their knickers for the purpose. I can't remember what I did with my first wages (I suppose I clutched them in my hand all day), but, from t... See more When I worked in a supermarket at the age of 16, I had the unfortunate problem of being paid in cash in the middle of the day on a Friday, with nowhere to put the money. I could not leave it in a bag in the staff room, due to the high risk of it being stolen. When I asked other female staff members what they did, they proudly showed me neat pockets sewn into their knickers for the purpose. I can't remember what I did with my first wages (I suppose I clutched them in my hand all day), but, from the second week onwards, my mother came into the shop at the right time, to do her shopping and collect the money from me at the same time.
Therefore, I can vouch for it that there would be a market for that type of pouch...
Astrid
P.S. Sorry, this is getting a bit off the topic of useless translations. Can't say I ever have translated anything useless to date. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Amy Duncan (X)
Brazílie
Local time: 16:56
portugalština -> angličtina
+ ...
| Endless survey... | Nov 29, 2006 |
The most useless thing I ever translated was a very, very long survey about artificial sweeteners. Those who participated in the survey often wrote things like "they all suck," or "f**k your sister's dog" -- they really got creative with the obscenities! Aside from being the longest and stupidest thing I every translated, I have to confess it was the funniest!  ))
| | | | Marc P (X)
Local time: 21:56
němčina -> angličtina
+ ...
| What's the most useless thing you've ever translated? | Nov 29, 2006 |
But I never said that these things weren't translated properly, they very often are. Just that nobody, apart from other translators, reads them.
I have some theories on this, but I'm saving them for my book.
At any rate, it seems as though I'm a lone voice here. (Or perhaps not - thank you, Vito!)
Marc
[Edited at 2006-11-29 08:58]
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